Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
