if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
