he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
