saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
