How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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