everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
