Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize