I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
