every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize