I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
