i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
