Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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