You're my little dorito
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
