Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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