bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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