i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
