How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
