if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize