Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Can I color on your dick again?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
