So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
