I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
