Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
