About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
