He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
