dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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