I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
