So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize