Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
