You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
