Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
