Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize