Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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