she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
