Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
