I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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