he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
birth control should be required to get into college
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
