Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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