they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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