Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
