An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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