dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
