Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
