Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
