hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
