i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Randomize
