I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
