I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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