All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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