doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
