Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
