just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
