she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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