and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
