All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
