come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
