porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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