She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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