I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
