People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize