It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
