Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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