I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
