okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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