it's great music for shaving your balls
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm way too hungover for life right now
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
