I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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