How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
its not stalking. its research.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize