I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
