WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
