are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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