What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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