New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
