We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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