My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She even gives head with a lisp.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
