I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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