if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
you never un-have a 4some
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize