So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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