sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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