I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
